It happened one flight...

I live in a sleepy town in Virginia, close to the Dulles airport. I like to think of my profession as a noble one, considering I provide nurturing and guidance to people in desperate need of help. I am a shrink - my job is to listen to people talk and help them figure themselves out. Most days I am surrounded by tragedy - sad tales of abuse and neglect, guilt and jealousy, separation and anxiety pouring out of the depths of tortured souls. I try to disassociate myself from it - but humans are born empathetic and tend to get affected by their surroundings. That summer I felt like the cup of sorrow definitely runneth over and I desperately needed to get away from it all. I planned a vacation to LA. It was a solo trip - since I felt like I needed to clear my head and it was to Los Angeles since I felt the land of movie stars, glamor and opulence would lift my spirits somehow. Shallow - I know - but its the best I could come up with. A soul searching trip to Bali wouldn't fit into the calendar!

It was there at the airport, waiting for the flight to LA, that I first saw him. Waiting for a commercial flight like a mere mortal was Ryan Seacrest. Here I thought celebs only flew in their own private jets. Bad economy was taking the toll on everyone I guess. He looked visibly uncomfortable and stiff ; wearing oversized shades to cover half his face. He wasn't very tall but had an aura about him. The one most celebrities carry where they seem to be trying to underplay their stardom - and yet somehow stand out even more so because of it. People were approaching him with magazines and newspapers trying to get autographs - he was turning them all down. Someone wanted Seacrest to pose with her for a picture but he wouldn't oblige. And then people resorted to just whipping out their phones and taking pictures of this trapped creature. His discomfort was mounting - he kept shifting in his seat. I felt a teeny bit bad for him but got over it quickly. For all your protests Mr. Seacrest this fan following is what you yearned for - this was your motivation to begin way back when - was it not? Well atleast that's my theory and I'm sticking with it. Mildly annoyed, for some unknown reason, I turned the other way and continued sipping on my tall caramel macchiato, extra hot.

The plane was supposedly flying full and people were getting upgrades which made me feel like a fool for purchasing a first class ticket ( told you this was me taking a luxury break) when someone with corporate frequent flier miles gets a free upgrade. Well long & short of it - guess who I ended up being seated next to - YUP you guessed it right - none other than  'Foul Mood' Seacrest!! And if Mr. Seacrest wanted it any other way he was fresh out of luck coz the flight was full. So for the next 5 and half hours or so Ryan and I were gonna be travel buddies - Oh joy :(

The packed flight, my travel buddy's attitude, which I perceived as arrogance (not acknowledging my presence buried in his phone updating facebook or twitter or some other social forum), the giggly flirtatious flight attendant who I could swear was wishing she could use me as a cushion so she could sit right next to popular Mr. Seacrest were all annoying me until it hit me - this surface level superficiality and annoyance was what I was hoping would help me recover. That's the reason I was travelling to the land of Botox and Beverly hills - to just surround myself with "normal" issues for a while. My vacation just took off to the best start....

Ryan Seacrest

I relaxed into my seat and turned over to get a closer look at him. He wore khakis and a brown sweater over a crisp white shirt, smelt like a concoction of cologne and mint. I could see the smooth texture of his cheek ( hmm.. so this is what a fake tan looks like), I wished he'd take off his glasses - I always like to look into patients' eyes when they talk - very revealing. I wondered what secrets Seacrest held behind those dark glasses. He must have sensed me looking at him and turned over towards the window shielding his precious phone and tanned cheek away from me. I wish I'd kept a book in my handbag. I had wanted to save the reading for later - bad move!! I tried the next best thing - sleep. In the midst of my snoozing I could hear the sound of shuffling and tapping feet and in my half sleepy state I instinctively reached out to stop that annoying leg from moving and hissed "Stop that - what's bothering you?" No sooner had I realized what I'd done I was staring into the shocked eyes of Seacrest. For a moment we both stared at each other in silence ( my hands still holding on to the area above his knee where I'd try to stop the leg from shaking) and then he broke into a laugh revealing a perfect set of white teeth.  I jerked my hand back and that's how the conversation started -with me apologizing and him interrupting with "What made you think something was bothering me".  I told him what I did for a living, how it was something that occurred to me instinctively perhaps. I thought that would be the end of our exchange but instead he surprised me by asking more questions - what sort of patients did I have, what kind of problems did I deal with, did I think I could help someone with no real problems. Finally I asked him - is there something you'd like to talk about Ryan. We still have four long hours and I won't even charge you. He hesitated for a minute, then laughed again - " I really don't have any problems for a shrink to analyze. Just been curious of how the process works". Well then, let's discuss your non-problems and I'll demonstrate what talking to a shrink is all about.

He seemed to consider it and then turned himself towards me. And best of all he took off his glasses to reveal hazel eyes that held a twinkle of amusement. OK, he said - how do we do this. Ok, I said - why don't you start by telling me about your fears. It could be something small and trivial or something that's really a big scary deal for you. He took a deep breath and with a long drawn out sigh said "I'm afraid of losing it all". "Would you like to explain that. What is it that you're afraid of losing?" Ryan went on to talk about how he had started very young, how his ambition and drive had helped him survive tough days and long nights, how he had to morph himself from an ordinary, every day, average guy to something special - something people wanted to hear and watch. How he was afraid to turn down any opportunity for fear that his loss would open the doors for an "unknown" to get a foot in the door. What if somebody comes in and steals the show - what if the unknown becomes the next best thing. What if nobody wants Ryan Seacrest anymore."I have worked very hard to get here, and the fear of losing it is very real. It keeps me going, it keeps me fighting but it also wears me down sometimes. I feel like the hardest working man in the industry and guilty that my friends and family sometimes bear the brunt of it." Without going into the back and forth of it, the realization that I tried to bring to him was that change is inevitable. What is hot today may not be so hot tomorrow. But somethings are a classic... Larry King is a classic...people tuned in to watch him decades ago...still do (Larry hadn't retired yet)..if you so desired you could have an ever lasting career too. The point was to decide what you wanted from life. You are only one man and your ambitions have to match it. In this life, in this career every new turn is a challenge and no matter which new face or fad comes along as long as you trust your self you will thrive, not just survive. He seemed a lot more relaxed...I'd hoped I had been able to help him. Shortly thereafter the plane landed, he took my business card, gave me a lil' hug and said "Thank you, we'll talk again" - and with that walked out of the plane and disappeared into the crowd.....